March 12, 2005
The Rev. Karen Siegfriedt
St. Jude the Apostle Episcopal Church, Cupertino,
CA
We are here today to celebrate the life of Carol Phillips, to mourn her death, and to tell three stories: Carol's story, our story, and God's story. And if we were to leave out any one of these stories, life would not make much sense.
We all know a little bit about Carol's story. In 1961, she married Larry, and then had three delightful children. In their early life together, Carol was faced with the challenges of raising three children under sometimes "primitive conditions" when Larry was out doing research in the wilderness areas. But having a degree in home economics as well as a gift for home making, Carol was able to handle the challenges set before her. She loved arts and crafts, good color schemes, tasteful presentations, delicious food, and entertaining guests. She made a wonderful home for her family here in Cupertino for many years. But her real dream was to return to her home state of Washington, to be closer to her family and to the culture that she loved. Two years ago, this dream came true. She & Larry bought a house on the water, where she spent the last chapter of her life.
Because we were connected to Carol in some way, her story becomes part of our story. Whether we knew her as a mother, sister, grandmother, wife, friend, or parishioner, - her gifts, her spirit, her delight, and her commitment to her family and church home, impacted our lives. I hope you will take the time to share your story and connection to Carol following this service.
The first time I met Carol was when I came to St. Jude's in 1998. Soon after my arrival, Carol came to my office, bubbling with excitement. She had been thinking about two opportunities to enhance the bonds of friendship among the people of St. Jude's. Her first suggestion was to institute "First Fridays", a thematic celebration with food, fun, and friendship. If you were one of the fortunate ones who had the privilege of attending one of these "First Friday" events, you will remember a wonderful evening with thematic food, decorations, and entertainment. Carol's second suggestion was to put together "dinner groups" where 8-12 people would gather on a monthly basis for a potluck and casual discussion. As she presented these two ideas to me, she laid out a detailed description of each activity. Step by step, she described with detail, the date, time, organizational structure, advertising, - basically everything that was necessary to accomplish her vision. Today, over 50 people continue to participate in these dinner groups and we are thankful for this legacy that Carol left us.
God's story was a prominent part of Carol's life. While I do not know much about her personal relationship with God, I do know that she was a generous supporter of St. Jude's and faithful church member. She held a special place in her heart for the Episcopal liturgy. In today's biblical reading from the book of Revelations, we hear a part of God's story. I hope this passage filled Carol with hope and peace during her illness. In this passage, a promise is laid out for humanity: "Behold, I am making all things new." [Rev. 21:5] For those who have suffered, for those who are in pain, for those who are marginalized, for those who have been forgotten, for those who are unhappy, for those who are in broken relationships, for those who struggle against the powers of the world which corrupt and destroy the creatures of God, this promise of new life brings hope. It is a transformed life, a transformed world, where God's priorities rather than our priorities take preference. It is a life based on justice, inclusivity, mercy, compassion, and the dignity of every human being. It is a life which is infused with the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. In this new life, "God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away." [Rev. 21]
Larry, thank you for choosing this passage from the Holy Scriptures. In times of grief and loss, we need to hear messages of hope. For without hope, the human heart would break.
And so as we say our final "good-byes" to Carol's physical presence here on earth, I want to reflect on a few insights that came up for me in regard to her illness & death.
One of the ways a Christian can know if she has integrated her faith is by how she deals with suffering. As Christians, the cross is the symbol of our faith. We know that there is no escape from suffering. We learn from those who have gone before us that suffering can be accepted and transmuted into a benefit. Jesus laid down his life, and led a sacrificial life while alive. o
In graced suffering, we need not be sad that we have been afflicted with an illness or disease. We look for ways of healing and utilize those ways of healing. But as we realize the limits of medicine, as we feel the pain of our symptoms, and as we recognize our mortality, we bring to prayer our feelings, thoughts, discomforts. In the midst of our pain, we pray for the grace to receive God's will and peace. We accept whatever is. We practice our faith as we feel the pain, the fear, the anxiety. o
We shift our pain thought, to God, and lift the very thought of pain as prayer. We do this as many times as the pain thought comes to mind. The practice is the prayer. The medium is the pain. It is our choice how we will react to suffering.
Carol is now with God, in a place where there is no more "mourning, crying, or pain." May her soul and the souls of all the departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
| Updated 3/25/05 |
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